Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
