we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
