Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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