I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
