U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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