Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
