dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
