U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
