so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
