going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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