:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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