honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize