I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
