I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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