You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
