ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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