just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Text me some of your sweat
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