I think scott just propositioned me for sex
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
