margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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