the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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