and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
