Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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