508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
