You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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