This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Say something about gay babies.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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