how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
