We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize