This is not my ceiling
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
