I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
