The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
