I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
