Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
