U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
