i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
