i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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