your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
