I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize