3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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