i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize