he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
