Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
