i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are we still banned from the library?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
