Me too!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
