my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
