Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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