she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
