So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
