Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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