plz talk dirty to me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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