The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
