hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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