garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
