So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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