i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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