I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
