I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
