Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
