dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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