I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
