i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
