From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
