WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
