Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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