matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
