is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
