So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
