she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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