can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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