I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
