we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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