Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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