did you get engaged???
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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