idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
